There Must Be a Star in the East
My addict-in-recovery husband finally did the thing I have been asking him to do for the past 2.5 years of our marriage. He got a full-time job.
What took him so long, you might ask? His own demons of shame, among other issues that I don’t want to get into.
Two weeks ago, I laid it out for him once again. There were three things that he needed to do in order to move back home and continue his recovery:
- Open his mail
- Pay his bills on time
- Get a full-time job
Somehow the last stipulation kept eluding him. I couldn’t understand it. But when we had our frank discussion 2 weeks ago, I queried once again why finding a job seemed to be such an impossibility for him. He lamented that he kept trying by submitting applications but they disappeared into the black hole. I was like, have you applied at Borders, Restoration Hardware, or other retail location even selling shoes at Strawbridges again? All you need is a full-time job in order to come home.
He looked at me incredulously. “Those jobs would count?” he said looking stunned.
“Why wouldn’t they?” I replied, equally confused. But then I realized that his addict brain had made up something different in his head. He confabulated that the stipulation was that he could only come home if he had a well-paying job. Yet, as I immediately pointed out to him, that was his crap making him feel that a retail job was not good enough for Mr. Wharton MBA. I had nothing to do with it.
He thanked me for giving him clarification (from his own confusion) and set to work finding, what he termed, a recovery job. This morning he was hired at Restoration Hardware, his favorite store to be trained as an assistant manager. Though I was happy when he shared the news, I couldn’t help but think, “what took you so damn long?”
But I know the answer to that question.
One day at a time….
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