Welcome To The Dollhouse

Ah Well…

Originally published at Welcome To The Dollhouse. You can comment here or there. had a good session with Jeannette on Monday. I’m starting to get over a lot of the feelings of self-blame about the miscarriage. I’ve also decided to stop saying that I “lost the baby.” I didn’t lose the baby. It isn’t like [...]


Ah Well…

I had a good session with Jeannette on Monday. I’m starting to get over a lot of the feelings of self-blame about the miscarriage. I’ve also decided to stop saying that I “lost the baby.” I didn’t lose the baby. It isn’t like I misplaced him/her. The baby was right where s/he was supposed to [...]


The Art of Distraction

I’ve gone 3 days without tears. Three no tears days. I owe this to the art of distraction. I’m not better. I’m not any less sad. I’ve just been more distracted. On Wednesday I flew to Boston for the annual meeting of the Society for Adolescent Medicine. I’ve been a member of SAM for my [...]


My Burden

Tonight I’m going to write about a subject that I generally avoid discussing with others: religion/faith/spirituality. It is a difficult topic for me mostly because I’ve had such a convoluted relationship with religion. My faith is very private, something I know seems surprising as much as I constantly expose my very soul in the words [...]


Leather

Today is my 3rd (leather) anniversary. Mason just left after our subdued celebration. I am not doing well. I can’t stop crying. God, please help me.


Thank You All For Your Support

My dear friends, I have been composing this letter to all of you in my head for days now. I am posting this everywhere that people have expressed their support. The loss of our baby has been the most difficult challenge that I have had to face. My head keep spinning with the thought that [...]


Thanks for Your Support

My dear friends, I have been composing this letter to all of you in my head for days now. I am posting this everywhere that people have expressed their support. The loss of our baby has been the most difficult challenge that I have had to face. My head keep spinning with the thought that [...]


My Loss

It’s time to write about the pain. Now that I have managed to sit without crying for 2 whole hours, perhaps the words might flow in some coherent fashion. But I make no promises. My baby, my great hope, my Zappy is no more. Yesterday I saw her still form lying in the bottom of [...]


The Bracelets

I don’t think I’ve told you guys about the bracelets, though Mason and I have been wearing them for over a year and a half. Let me begin back at the beginning. Back in early October of 2004, I started knitting a baby blanket for Zappy. I had been afraid that knitting in advance of [...]


Guest Author

Tonight we have an entry written by my dear husband. Now you can see why we get on so well. We are both certifiable. On my walks to and from the train station, I’m always careful about where I step. You see there’s quite a bit of shrapnel and detritus on the streets of Philly, [...]


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