Not Without My MAC!
It was fun flying on Thursday, the day the terrorist threat was uncovered. If any of you expect this post to be in any way a serious analysis of terrorism, our ability to detect liquid explosives or detail about the British plot, you will be sorely disappointed. I leave such items to the current event bloggers.
Me, I want to talk about lipstick. Well not about lipstick per se, but about how lipstick is now banned on planes because of its potential for being used as a weapon of mass destruction. Lipstick, pressed powder, mascara, eyeliner and shadow are all threats in the eyes of the TSA.
So back to Thursday. Having heard about the terror threat that morning, I understood that no liquids would be allowed on the plane. Got it. And since I pack cleansers, lotions and such, I realized that though it pained me, I would have to check my normally carried-on suitcase. Fine.
I arrived at the airport and checked my bag at the counter. The woman behind the desk reminded me about the liquids in any carry on luggage. I was like, nope, all the liquids are packed. Cool beans. I then went up to security, happy to see that the lines weren’t any longer than they were on a normal day. I scooted into the “preferred” line and got ready to do my whole shoes-off-computer-out thing. And then I heard the announcement that sent a chill through my chest.
“In order to expedite your passage through the security checkpoint, make sure to remove all liquids and lotions from your carry on bags and discard them here. This includes any lipsticks, deodorants, Chapstick, geltabs, and similar items.”
I’m stunned. Since when is lipstick a liquid?
A lady near me asked about her pressed powder compact. Nope. Not allowed, indicated the TSA agent.
“All lipstick has to be discarded?” I asked the guy.
“Yep, you can throw it in here,” he said, indicating the plastic bin.
I looked at him with an expression that said, “have you lost your natural, God-given mind?!”
Now let me tell you about me and my lipstick. I keep a whole section of my purse free for my various lipsticks, stains, glosses and balms. I had about 15 or so tubes in my purse. And these were not Maybelline or Revlon that I could easily replace at the local CVS or Walgreens. These were MAC, Yves St. Laurent, Nars, Prescriptives, and Lancome. There was easily $200 worth of lipstick in my bag. Throwing them out was utterly not an option.
So I quickly exited the screening line and went back down to the ticket counter. I asked the sista to get my bag back. She was like, no, it’s been through TSA screening. I was like, please, I was just here a second ago.
She went to get the TSA guy who told me that my bag was irretrievable. I then proceeded to whine about my lipstick needs only to be interrupted by the sista who said, “I told you that liquids were not allowed?”
“And since when is a tube of lipstick considered a liquid?” I snapped back at her.
Clearly those two did not realize the extent of my crisis. What to do…what to do. I considered my options.
Option 1: Throw them all out.
Nixed before the thought fully formed.
Option 2: Mail the lipstick home.
Untenable since the stupid Philly airport did not have any mailers or mailboxes available as other airports do.
Option 3: Take them back to the car and hope they all don’t melt while sitting in the glove box.
Winner! We have a winner.
So back I trudged to the parking lot. It only took me 4 tries before I found my rental car. (My car is in the shop for bodywork.) Clearly there are too many grey American cars being made. I told each of my lovelies to stay cool and intact until I returned on Saturday. Hopefully they listened to me.
Now this, of course, left me without any lipstick for my trip. And I was moderating a big conference..and wearing my lime green silk blazer…but no lipstick! Imagine my joy when I found one tube of red lipstick in one of travel pouches after I arrived at the hotel.
It might not have been the best choice. But I had lipstick. And that made me happy.
Take that, terrorists!!
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Yesterday I heard a talk on disaster management, and one of the speaker’s examples involved building a bomb from lip balm, contact solution, and pressed powder (and how a disaster response team should deal with this situation). I don’t think the men in the audience got the joke, but the women were rolling in the aisles.
It is super annoying. I’m baffled by the fact that just a few weeks ago you could take lighters and matches on planes. That completely ruined any authority the TSA had in my mind.
I am like you in that a world without lipstick is untenable. They seem to be easing some restrictions from today as the status has been lowered to orange. However I believe that they have been forced, in part, to ease the restrictions in the light of completely clogged airports here in the UK where it was impossible to handsearch every single passenger and still have planes flying.
I was still trying to get my head around a flight without a book or a magazine. Unbelievable.