Crying Child and Parents Removed From Flight
AirTran Ejected 3-Year-Old and Her Parents After Tantrum.
I’m hailing AirTran as the carrier that I want to fly after their actions with this family. These parents were unable to get their 3-year-old child into her seat as she began tantruming for no discernible reason (like most 3 year old tantrums). After a 15 minute delay waiting for the parents to get the girl in her seat with her seatbelt on, AirTran booted the family from the flight. They refunded their money as well.
Now honestly, I cannot imagine this type of situation happening when I was a kid. One look from Mommy Dearest and my ass would behave with the quickness. With Mom a doctor and stepdad an undertaker, I knew that it would only take one conflagration for me to end up dead and buried in very short order. Someone would later say to my mother, “Didn’t you have 3 kids?” and she would reply, “No, you must be mistaken. We only had two.”
I know that most modern-day parents don’t believe in fear-based discipline methods, but I know well the value of the threat. Look at Chris Rock’s mother in Everybody Hates Chris. Some of her zingers also flew from my mother’s lips.
I’ll knock you into next week!
I brought you in this world, and I’ll take you out of it!
I’ll knock the black off you!
I’ll knock you out of the phone book!
I get such a kick out of that program because it shows loving, concerned parents who function in that strict disciplinarian non-touchy-feely world that I grew up in. All this new age, treating children like mini-adults and negotiating stuff (I was going to say “crap” but that was more judgmental a word than I wanted to employ) is just not in my arsenal. I look at parents like The Lansing Family and think, I will not let that happen with my child.
I have no problem with my role as parent. This role includes recognizing that my child and I are not peers and we are not buddies. It is my role to love, guide, discipline, protect, nurture and cherish our little person. I do not waffle on the issue of saying no or of making the child upset with my decisions. I also plan to remain the person in charge. I love this Violent Acres post about her mom and the brussels sprouts! Classic!
When I watch Nanny 911 and Supernanny, I see these parents who a) have no clear idea of their roles; b) can’t say no effectively and c) get upset when their kids cry. None of those are my particular triggers. My own parents gave me a clear idea of the parent/child dichotomy. And though my mother was at times extreme, I feel that I can achieve the non-extreme version of the parental role she sought. I’m also very good at saying no and setting boundaries when necessary with appropriate consequences, thanks to AdoringHusband and our education in his recovery. When I start to feel guilty for setting a boundary, I have learned to think of the bigger goal and work through any guilt that I feel. And lastly, as for their getting upset. Well you know what? Feelings are appropriate. They can feel angry with me for curtailing an inappropriate behavior and that is fine. I respect their anger and know that it will pass. Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. And as such, kids will have them and we don’t always need to feel guilt or try to wash away the negative ones such as giving in to them when they get angry. They need to learn to process their negative feelings in healthy ways and the codependent need to “fix” bad feelings does not help them learn this skill.
I always have to add this caveat: I do not expect to have perfect children or not have a child tantrum in public. That would be ludicrous. But what I do want to have is a good arsenal of coping strategies such that we don’t have to be removed from airplanes. Then again, there is always the threat to knock their kneecaps off.
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AMEN! I couldn’t agree more with all you’ve said here. Such a relief to hear it.
It’s good to know that I’m not the only one out there who feels this way!
Amen! I completely agree with your parenting philosophy – being raised by parents who did not take any crap and were clearly in charge and I plan to be the same with my child. So at least there will be two well behaved children in this world!
Amen to that!
Liana I agree 100% with what you are saying. And my mom added an extra sentence to the phrase below that made me think that she was 99.9 percent serious when she was disciplining us.
“I brought you in this world, and I’ll take you out of it!” AND I WOULD GLADLY DO THE TIME!
I was not a bad child but my sister and my little brother…ooh they could get me to be the fall guy for their messes. So when my mom looked at us for that half a second longer than normal, I could hear that last sentence ringing in my ear and yes we “straighten up with a quickness”.
Love it!
Add me in! I agree also. My kids think I am crazy….and I love it. I can give that “eye” and the know the deal. I haven’t had to spank my kids that much, actually hardly at all, but they are afraid of my wrath. Every now and then I need to remind them that I am insane, but for the most part I can take my kids out and not have to worry about them acting a fool. I can tolerate babies being fussy, but a 3yr old should know better. I bet those parents are acting like victims now.