Welcome To The Dollhouse

Ivy League Morons

I’ve always thought of myself as being a fairly smart person. And I know that AdoringHusband considers himself to be incredibly smart. So why is it that two smart, Ivy League educated, graduate degree having, multilingual folks can fail at something so basic….something so absolutely incontrovertibly easy, that I know I risk losing your respect when I tell you what it is.

OK. Deep breath. Well, it seems that AdoringHusband and I have been putting Zizi in her car seat incorrectly. Not dangerously, but indeed stupidly.

Go ahead and laugh. We had to laugh when we realized this yesterday. All I can say in my own defense is that it’s all AdoringHusband’s fault!! He’s the one who told me way back in the beginning that the way I was strapping her in was wrong. I figured that he was the one who had read the manual, so he must know the right way to do things. I was wrong!

We came to this great realization now that we have had to move to the convertible car seat. We had been waiting for the Orbit Toddler Car Seat but its release was pushed back from February 15th to March 15th and now until the end of April. Zara was squished into her infant seat, so we had to stop waiting.

I ordered a Maxi-Cosi Priori seat in Indian Red from Elite Car Seats. AdoringHusband, not one to be a slave to fashion like I am, got a more basic color this weekend from Target. Yesterday he called me very pissed off after taking her to day care. “The straps on this seat are too short! I’m taking it back!”

“What do you mean they’re too short? This seat is supposed to fit a child up to 40 pounds!”

“Well it doesn’t work. I had to contort her to get her into the seat just like the trouble we were having with the straps on the Orbit! I’m just going to get the Britax.”

“I thought you didn’t like the Britax.”

“I don’t, but clearly this isn’t working and I have to get something. Do you want the ordering information?”

“No, hold up a minute. There has to be more to this,” I replied.

“I’m ordering the Britax,” he said with finality.

I said goodbye and decided to try to figure this out. We read tons of reviews about the Priori and only one mentioned that the straps were short. The others were all very positive. I’m thinking to myself, how can our average sized 10 month old not fit into a seat rated up to 40 pounds? Something wasn’t adding up.

I called Elite Car Seats and asked about issues with the straps on the Priori. She began with some nonsense. “All children are different and not all seats work for all children…”

And I’m like, “Lady, please stop right there. You are not going to convince me that my 50th percentile 10 1/2 month old daughter somehow won’t fit in a normal convertible car seat. I just want to know, have you had any issues from Priori buyers about the length of the straps?”

“No, not really,” she answered. “But I can call Maxi Cosi and see if they have an extender to help with the problem.”

“That would be great.” I thanked her and she promised to call me back.

In the meantime, I’m looking at the car seats and wondering… I call AdoringHusband back.

“How did you put Zara in the Priori?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“What did you do with her legs? Did you put them through the straps?”

“Of course!” he said, huffily. “That’s when I found out that the straps were too short.”

“I don’t think the legs are supposed to be put through the shoulder straps.”

“Of course they are!”

“Well I’m not so sure…”

“I put her in the same way we put in her the Orbit seat.”

As we are having this dialogue, we are both on the Maxi Cosi site looking for the manual. He finds it first.

“Oh no! I did it wrong! Her legs aren’t supposed to go through the straps!”

“So there’s probably nothing wrong with the seat, then?”

“No…” he trails off.

“This also means that we’ve probably being putting Zizi in the infant seat the wrong way as well.”

“Geez…”

“Good lord, we’re morons! But you told me to do it your way!”

“I thought it was the right way!”

“Sheesh”

“Man…”

“We’re stupid.”

“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Who would I tell?”


Go ahead…laugh.


13 Responses to “Ivy League Morons”

  1. Barb says:

    You gave me permission…I’m laughing my ass off right now!
    :)

  2. beagle says:

    Things always seem obvious AFTER the fact! LOL

  3. Deathstar says:

    You see, if you had just used some rope like my parents did, you would not have had this problem…..

    Deathstar’s last blog post..There was a musical!

  4. Tara says:

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I really, REALLY want to see pictures of the ‘before’ and ‘after.’

    I really am cracking up here…and am also a little bit paranoid that there must be something “simple” I’m doing wrong as well if you and AH can do something like this, you two Smartypants.

  5. Flicka says:

    You guys are priceless! :-D

    Flicka’s last blog post..I don’t even know **UPDATED**

  6. Christy says:

    It could be worse, but I’m still laughing. On more than one occasion I put Reagan in her seat and didn’t buckle her and then when we arrived I’m thanking God that we didn’t get into an accident or slam on my breaks.
    Someone told us before we had our first to go to one of those car seat checks and we did and he told us we did everything wrong!!!
    Now when ever we have had to get a new car seat we go to the car seat check or make an appointment to have our seats checked out.
    Don’t be too hard on yourself, my grandma still doesn’t understand the need for car seats or seat belts….my kids don’t ride with great grandma….ever.

    Christy’s last blog post..Dream Home

  7. Julie says:

    OMG! I’m crying here I’m laughing so hard! I agree – we need photos!

  8. Marcia says:

    I totally sympathize! I have never needed to learn how to latch and unlatch so many straps in such a short and sleep deprived time.
    Our “latching” baby devices include:
    2 strollers
    2 different baby carriers
    High chair
    Booster chair
    2 different car seats
    A grocery cart seat cover
    and of course..the changing table strap

    This may seem like an excessive list, but some items are hand me downs, some gifts and others were needed as he outgrew the infant version.

    So far we have had only 1 strap related “incident”. Somehow I pinched his cheek in the car seat strap! There was blood! A scratch, healing now and hopefully not scarring him for life.

  9. Louise says:

    haaaaa, love it!!

  10. Angela (Eos) says:

    ok…this makes me feel slightly better…as I don’t have 1/3 your education and did something similar back when mine was little….so it happens to really smart people too?…see…feel much better already!LOL

    Angela (Eos)’s last blog post..Foster care stuff

  11. Sylvie says:

    Thanks for permission to laugh! I don’t even understand how you were able to put her legs through the straps…. I need to see pictures! LOL!

    Sylvie’s last blog post..Gavin Update

  12. Julie says:

    No worries, you’re not the only one. These days all of the new car seats are safe enough for Nascar with 5-point strap systems lol. It’s fantastic that they’re so safe BUT I always suggest reading the manual first.

  13. Justin says:

    lol, funny stuff
    great post

    Justins last blog post..Lukasz Zbylut | Example of Success

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