I’ve Got To Issue A Citation On This One
know that none of us is grammatically perfect. See, that should be none of us are grammatically perfect. I left that error in place just to show that I’m as much of a screw up as the next guy. (Wait, is “none” singular or plural? “None” means “no one” so it should be singular.) Hold the phone, I had it right the first time. None of us is grammatically perfect.
Now see how anal I was just then? No, I’m not perfect. I get my grammar and spelling rules confused, but I at least try to make sure that I check the spelling and grammar in my posts before I hit the publish button. Even with that, I am sure that I’ve missed some errors that would make my grammarian mother rise up and smack me upside my head. Yet it isn’t for lack of effort.
Having been raised by a woman who forbade me from speaking the phrases “you know” and “it was like” during my adolescence, I tend to be a bit of a grammar police officer annoyingly often at times. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who finds the misuse of the apostrophe to be as grating as fingernails on a blackboard.
Even so, it is rare for me to issue grammar citations and felonies here on the old blog. Yet today I am breaking my rule. This flagrant disregard for the tenets of our English language cannot go without a citation. Honestly, methinks this warrants felony status.
The location: the Children’s Book of the Month Club website
The violation: found in the reader comments about a particular picture book for infants
This was a Main Selection that I had meant to cancel, but didn’t. When I saw them online, I figured they would be very cute and I would just keep them. They arrived yesterday, and the only word I can use to describe what I felt when I saw them was disappointed. There is very little to them. My 9 month old son who loves to be read to was bored with these and I was even border reading them. I plan on returning these. They are not worth the money. There is so structure to the books..just pictures of a baby/infant with the object you need to “look behind” on one side with a question like “Where is the rubber ducky?” And then a picture of a rubber ducky or whatever under the next flap. Only 5 pages per book. I was expecting a lot more from books that were selected as a “Main Selection”.
I was even border reading them.
I’m sorry. Call me a big meanie if you must, but “even border?” I can’t take it!
Dear Even Border:
It is wonderful that you are reading to your son, but honey, you have got to learn that the comparative form of bored is not border just as the comparative form of wasted is not wasteder. These rules can be tricky, but unfortunately I’m going to have to give you a ticket on this one. Let’s make sure that you never end up even border, even tireder, or even dissapointeder ever, ever again. M’kay?
Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Grammar Police Officer
If you haven’t yet read “Eats Shoots and Leaves” by Lynne Truss, them you absolutely must!
#1 Dinosaurs last blog post..When Sauce for the Goose isn’t Gravy for the Gander
Yep, I’ve read that and her follow up about manners. I am a disciple.
Oh, criminy! I can’t believe I misspelled “then”.
#1 Dinosaurs last blog post..When Sauce for the Goose isn’t Gravy for the Gander
Oh My!!
New knowlege for me that some people think that border is the comparative form of bored.