Oooh, That’s A Lot
That’s a lot of shoes. Methinks I have a problem…
I made the mistake the other day of counting the pairs of shoes that Zizi has in her closet. I knew that she had a few…hell, my OCD insists on color matching with outfits, for goodness sake, so I expected there to be a decent number. I did not, however, expect to reach the number that I eventually reached.
Including slippers and swim shoes, my kid has 33 pairs of shoes. Yes, you read that correctly: thirty-three!
They aren’t all the same size. Some are 22s and some are 23s. Some were great buys from Overstock. Others were purchases from my credits at Olly. Others still were just too cute to resist. But the net of it is: I have a problem.
I come by it honestly. My mother tells tales of buying me so many dresses when I was a baby that I ended up outgrowing many before they were ever worn. Of course I have no memory of this. By the time my memory kicks in, I was no longer cute and adorable, and thus I only remember Toughskins jeans, desert boots and the occasional Sunday dress.
But my Zizi! I have so much fun putting her in scrumptious outfits from everywhere from Carter’s to Tea Collection. It’s not about fussy and frilly…heavens no! It’s about color pop, cuteness, and wow. And it is so easy to scarf up a zillion little outfits for a fraction of what my wardrobe used to cost (back when I was thinner and into buying clothes), so…the monster parent was born.
Yes, I do see that my kidlet has a bit of the diva about her. Yes I notice how she loves pulling the tags off her new outfits and practically salivates when the new shoe box opens. I have noticed how she takes all of her dolls and stuffed animals shopping and that her first word was really, “shoe.” I’ve also noticed that at 2, she can pick shoes to match with her outfit even better than her daddy can. Yeah, I have noticed. Perhaps having 33 pairs has something to do with it.
Maybe there’s a support group for parents like me somewhere: Recovery From Addiction to Kids’ Clothes Shopping? I dunno.
Yet here’s the thing that really snaps my panties. Whenever we are around other parents/people who talk about Z and her love of shopping/clothes/shoes, there is always the knowing look and the turn to AdoringHusband with the dire warning, “You’d better watch out” or “You’re gonna be in trouble!” And I’m like what the fuck? Why is he gonna be in trouble? Why isn’t it we who’re gonna be in trouble or even me alone, since I’m doing all the purchasing now with my hard earned dollars?! What’s with this gender-stereotypic assumption that Daddy holds the purse-strings? I’m sorry…what year is this again?
Good lord!
But back to my problem. I have been warned that I am creating a monster…a monster who will be overly entitled and who will demand that she be given everything and anything she wants with absolute alacrity and deference. In other words, a spoiled brat. And as those of you who know me understand, I would rather stick pins in my eyes than create yet another entitled little shit to run around the planet believing the world owes them something because she’s here. So this admonishment begs the question: is simply having a lot enough to make one an entitled brat or is it more the act of giving the child most/all of what s/he requests with absolute alacrity and deference the feature more likely to create bratdom? Or is it certain percentages of both?
From my perspective, she may have a goodly bit (indeed quite a bit more than I realized), but when she starts pointing at things and saying, “I want that!” there will be a frequent reply on the order of, “people in Hell want ice water, but do they get it?” but on an age appropriate level, of course. We already are teaching her that no, Virginia, we are not Santa Clauses. In fact, she thinks we are downright Grinchy. And despite her going-to-ground, kicking, yelling, or otherwise using everything in her two-year-old repertoire in order to get her strong point across, we remain as immutable as The Great Wall of China. So hopefully once I get this shoe buying thing under control, we can continue our Anti-brat Training Program with her.
She is resourceful, though and likes to test the limits of our discipline. On Father’s Day, for example, she decided to act up in the restaurant. I took her to the “naughty corner” (ladies bathroom stall) for two minutes, but it wasn’t very effective as a time out/time-in because the place was a new area and as such did not have the requisite isolation and lack of fun. But she agreed to behave before we left.
So we went back down to the table and immediately upon sitting back down she turns to me and says, “Back to ‘naughty corner?’” and proceeded to attempt to throw dishes to the floor. This time, however, we opted to pull her high chair away from the table effectively isolating her in the room where she cannot reach anything. What does she then do? Start waving her hands above her head yelling, “Help me! Somebody! ¡Ayúdeme!” (directly from Dora the Explorer) I wanted to both bust out laughing and crawl under the table!
Recently, she was in the “naughty corner” looking pitiful. I asked her if she knew why she had been sent to the corner for a time out. Her reply: “Me hit Mommy in face with Dora panties!” said dejectedly. Again, I had to bite my tongue not to laugh. But she did smack me in the face with her Dora panties, so she was right about that.
Ah well. She may have too many shoes, but she’s still our little star:
Does this mean I can’t get her the adorable Camper sandals that I’ve had my eyes on and asked you about? Because they are now on sale. SALE. Next best word after shoes.
What if I get them in a size for next year?
millie´s last blog ..Staycation All I Ever Wanted
Now gifts don’t come under the same restrictions. That would be rude to the gift giver, wouldn’t it?
Liana´s last blog ..Oooh, That’s A Lot
About the shoes:
Don’t worry about it so much. At this point, her shoes only cost a couple of bucks, and she still tolerates you dressing her up like a little doll. Trust me: she won’t for long. Someday (soon) you’ll be sighing as you remember your darling little kewpie doll as she stomps around in Toughskins jeans and desert boots. (Furthermore, you know that’s precisely the same response you give to other mothers when you’re in pediatrician mode. That’s okay. Parent-mode often overrides doctor-mode. You still deserve to hear it, though, because hearing something, even something you already know, can be surprisingly comforting.
About trying not to laugh:
Dino’s Law of Parenting: The hardest part of being a parent is keeping a straight face.
Generalized reassurance:
The answer to your question about creating a spoiled brat, “…is simply having a lot enough to make one an entitled brat or is it more the act of giving the child most/all of what s/he requests with absolute alacrity and deference the feature more likely to create bratdom?” is: the latter.
The Dino commands you to chill.
(Sorry; no clue why I’m feeling so grandiose today.)
#1 Dinosaur´s last blog ..Can You Say "Slap on the Wrist"?
You always provide me with such reassurance when I get into one of my self-flagellation sprees. But I will keep you in ignorance about the cost of her Agatha Prada de la Ruiz shoes. (I did splurge a little.)
(Sorry about the broken linkage above.)
#1 Dinosaur´s last blog ..Can You Say "Slap on the Wrist"?
See, now, this is how I justify it (when they’re little): I always think about where I’ll be DONATING the items when my kid is done with it. All of Mimi’s small clothes? NICU. Then, I don’t feel so guilty. Because it’s for CHARITY.
(see how easily I can justify it?)
And my kids have wanted for nothing and still, are the least entitled people I know. Which is shocking, I know.
Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Let’s Just Leave This As “I Have Something In My Eye”
Actually, we give most of Z’s stuff to our trainer whose daughter is 3 months younger than Z. So things get a double wearing right off the bat. And her toys went to Cradles to Crayons. So we are trying to do the right thing.
Tori has a pair of sandals that are too small, a pair of cheap flip-flops, hiking shoes, and one pair of Target “Princess” shoes. She wears size 10 if you REALLY feel the need to buy more kid shoes.
(I think she’ll be just fine; you indulge but don’t spoil.)
Cecily´s last blog ..Proof that my husband and I are TOTALLY intellectuals (and presumptive as shit too)
Now why’d you have to tell me this?! You know I can’t abide by inadequate shoe-itis!
I am chuckling LOL
We have done the pull the highchair away from the table thing…in a restaurant in Hawaii LOL
We do timeouts in the car, babe sitting in the carseat with a/c on or windows rolled down and parent sitting quietly in the front seat in silence.
He HATES it and I’m with you on how parents try to strike that balance between getting our child what he or she wishes to have and not overindulging to the point that said child thinks they’re entitled to what they want to have
And I am still laughing about her saying Help me! Ayudame! I can’t help it, its funny ROTFL